The Final Days Before Trial

I probably have never expressed this before,, and if I have,, it’s okay. If I haven’t it’s worth reading and understanding.

We are entering the final days before the trial preparation in Tampa. I do what little I can to help prepare for the upcoming trial and before you know it,, the trial will be in the hands of a jury.

I myself am exhausted,, I know my clients are,,, the other attorneys are and damn near everyone is on the brink of a breakdown.

I notice as the pressure mounts,, the energy builds,, the time I spent decompressing last night is not as peaceful as I like. I went out to eat and actually stop at a cigar store to smoke a cigar,, something I do not do.

Maybe,, it’s a walk on the wild side,, maybe it’s just a tension release,, but none the less,, I stop and smoke a cigar.

I do not feel ready. My short time in this case does not give me the necessary involvement I must have to totally prepare for the war that is coming.

I do not feel at ease,,, I feel like I’m missing something. I know from experience that some great strides have gotten done,, some tremendous work is being produced,, some tremendous love is being spread around and something incredible will happen.

I know this. I know I want to be here. I find the energy incredible,, the clients funny and willing and now witnesses are appearing who never step foot in this arena just so we can work with them.

I love what I do and I want more. It’s like a drug or a drink,, I psychologically crave for more and more and more.

I am addicted to this process,, which means I must be  co-dependent on this what ever in the hell you call it. I really need to examine this behavior more closely and it needs to begin immediately.

I am ordering a book on this process and hopefully,, it will be a great source of knowledge for me. I’m really observing myself and my behavior in this process.

May peace and love guide you throughout your day and may you feel tremendous love for yourself,, others and yes,, even the stray cats or dogs.





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