Another Fine Mess You’ve Gotten Me Into Ollie

I remember that famous line as if it is being said right now. I visualize the 2 characters saying that and hearing that famous line and I begin to see my life in prospective.

I am learning a few things as I travel along my journey of life and one of the observations I see is just how much mess and turmoil I can get myself into.

I kinda feel like the guy who goes into a room starts it on fire and then begins talking about anything with someone else in the room. I then hear someone say there’s smoke and I instantaneously react. I do not respond,, but react.

So here’s another fine mess I’ve gotten myself into and I’m doing my best to get out of it.

When I moved to this town,, I begin to think that the solutions I have to problems are not that difficult,, I just get impaired by the emotions going on around me. I begin to dislike people who remind me of myself and the areas I want to change.

I see messes that I co-create and it’s funny,, I’m able to solve those messes in other people’s lives,, but never my own. I’m beginning to think and believe that I live for drama,, even though I don’t want it.

I find myself,, of my own creation,, being involved in drama and not wanting or wondering how in the hell did I allow myself to get there?

I know that wisdom is only gained in either living and experiencing or by reading or hearing it. I tend to have to live and experience it,, rather than read and / or hear about it.

I am wondering if my life isn’t like groundhog day each day,, and then I must necessarily realize,, the comfort of familiarity is easier than the pain or discomfort of change.

I remember vividly the last drunk I was on,, I awoke in the hospital and spent 3 days there,, all because of one drink. Well,, it started as one drink,, then I honestly can’t remember what happened next. I just know I ended up in a hospital.

I am able today to understand and have the wisdom that the drinking of alcohol or smoking pot will place me into a mess so large that I can never get out of it. It will be as if I never stopped drinking. I simply won’t just go back to drinking a little,, it will be a lot,, as if I never stopped. I’ll probably die.

So if I am able to recognize this in my life of alcoholism,, why can’t or won’t I recognize this in my life outside of alcoholism?

I guess in the end,, I’m doomed to drama until I get tired of drama and want to move on. I suppose there is hope for this to happen and I suppose there is strength in seeing others that have recovered from drama.

Anyway,, it’s just another fine mess I’ve gotten myself into Ollie.



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