Well, I’m Certain That The Coffee Party Will Soon Take Over

I’ve assembled a new political ticket and I’m simply calling it “The Coffee Party”. It’s made up of mostly millions of people who are fed up with Palin, Obama, Bush, Clinton, Reid, McCain, Biden, Regan and any other politicians.

We are holding our rally at AIG offices, where we expect to gather billions in donations from corporations who want us elected at the expense of the competition and all those frivolous lawsuits being filed by those people in namby-pamby land who merely lost an occasional relative or leg or arm eye because of some stupid act they did using our otherwise extremely toxic poison we market to third graders.

We will do away with taxes, laws and build more and more prisons,, cut all welfare and unemployment, and arm everyone on the border with immunity to shoot to kill. We will close the borders forever, deport anyone who isn’t at least a 3rd generation true blooded American and put the non-believers to death with  no appeal at all.

We will immediately kill all the lawyers, kill all TV stations, except Fox news and place Nancy Grace and Bill O’Reilly as our new executives in charge.

We will never repay any of our loans we have borrowed from other nations and declare war on France. Every Muslim will be shot on sight and every Hispanic will be immediately deported after we cut off one leg. We will make christianity the only religion and allow home schooling for every person in the country.

We will not allow any criticism of any of our government programs and to do so is immediate deportation. We will bomb Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan, Pakistan and use some of the nuclear devices we no longer need because of the downfall of the commies. We will attack China and North Korea and you are either with us or against us, damn it.

In the end, global warming is a great thing,, we won’t pollute the atmosphere by using coal and who in the hell needs some of those fish, birds or marsh lands anyhow?

We will drill for oil everywhere and rebuilt the gas guzzling hummers bigger and better than before. Our motto is a hummer in every garage and a gun for every man woman and child in America.

We will take over Cuba, and teach those fellas in Mexico what a real war is. We will cut the arms off of those people using cocaine, mary jane and other drugs, but allow our brethren to make crystal meth.

Yes sir,, the coffee party is here and now. Long live John Birch.


p.s. this is intended as a parody, or is it real?


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