Isn’t It Important to See and Hear Your Client’s Story?

Seeing is believing and hearing is the essence of beginning to tell your client’s story. How many times do we feel that we are never heard, or worse yet,, never seen?

I can only speak for myself, but I am experiencing this very phenomenon in my life. I can tell you for certain that the feelings that arise when I am not heard, not seen and not witnessed are intense and very strong. I remember most of the time in my failed marriage that my voice is never being heard,, I am not being seen and of course,, I am not witnessed.

I usually begin with a very intense feeling in my stomach and my chest and throat tighten up until I physically become ill. I notice that the area of my feelings start out small and grow as the feeling intensifies and it becomes as if I’m the smallest object in the room.

My insides seem to turn inside out and my mind begins to shut down, almost going into a survival mode of flight,, never fight. I clearly experience no grounding and quickly go into my head, rather than just feel the feelings as they arise and breath deeply.

I must say this experience of reliving this trauma is causing my throat to tighten and my stomach to rise. I am not grounded and my feet no longer touch the concrete floor.

As I progress into many, many dollars of therapy and hours of work, I begin to realize how extremely horrible a caged animal must feel,, how one watches as the caged wolf constantly paces the perimeter,, always looking for an escape route. Have you ever felt like that?

Perhaps it is the feeling of not being seen and not being heard,, a throw away person. Just for me, just for today,, the most important gift I can ever give or receive is to just be present. I can listen and I can make the choice of engaging in a drama or not. I no longer have to feel these feelings and succumb to them,, I can simply remember a time when I feel these feelings and then experience them when my client is being seen and heard.

Isn’t that what’s important,, just being seen and being heard? Just being acknowledged and accepted for who or what we are?

I stress that the most important thing a “lawyer” can do is simply see and hear your client’s story.

Anyway, enough for today,,, by the way, when you are uncomfortable and begin to feel these things that no one likes to talk about,, you know,, feelings,, just remember to breathe deeply.



One Response to “Isn’t It Important to See and Hear Your Client’s Story?”

  1. Tweets that mention Isn’t It Important to See and Hear Your Client’s Story? « New Braunfels Law -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Joane Garcia-Colson, paul j smith. paul j smith said: Isn't It Important to See and Hear Your Client's Story?: […]

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